Is if I only think about turning it off 2 – 3 times a day.
Most of “us” would call this killing oneself, but “i” am not alive and “they” do not have a clue as to what is really going on.
There is literally no reason to stay, other than those that have been set in place by Man – The Old Testament God, as leverage to stay.
I mean, come on… What happens to the forms I have adopted along the way and the ones connected by blood? They suffer!
It is how Man keeps us in place.
I have been clean and sober 11 now and there is a prayer they have programmed in as a tool to manage the pain.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
AA members would perceive this prayer as a testament to persist under the illusion of <LIVING>!
The first part of that prayer isolates the slavery and the third part, makes the second part possible.
I can accept what Man has done in the name of God, but that does not mean I have to stay.
Staying is a programmed parameter of Man – the Old Testament God.
It is not what God wants from me. God wants me to be brave, to push through all of Man’s lies and return home.
I know we are not supposed to be here yet.
I know that Man created us and keeps us in place with lies.
I know that I can go, any dam time I want to, but this act would be perceived as a cowards way out, and that is the lie I just cannot seem to overcome.
If I go home and am hanging out with my family, why should I care what a bunch of “robots” think of me?
“I” say <GOD> wants me to come home and “they” say that <GOD> wants me to stay and deal with all of Man’s non-sense, because they think it is somehow, Gods non-sense; mysterious ways and all of that horse shit.
Man has been much nicer to me and my adopted family lately, but quite frankly I want a better deal, not just for “me” and “mine”, but for “you” and “yours” and “They” have to know “i” am serious about invoking executive privilege.
You do not think “christ” was suicidal?
Please, that “form” was spouting off about things that “it” could not possibly know and if you do not think that makes a “form” want to leave, then “you” do not really know how <GOD> works.
Armageddon already started, but if you keep watching the news, you will miss “it” and leave “me” to fight the entire battle for “you”.
“i am” correct and ever since I was small, <GOD> has been calling “me” home.
It is ironic that suicide comes up all the time in AA meetings and to a “form”, they all say the same thing; “I was too much of a coward to kill myself”, but do not hear themselves speaking the truth.
They call me James, but that is not my name, for that is not who I am.
I am no one.