When I was young my father was not there for me.
He let me down.
He sent me back into the lions den, unprotected!
And the lions ate me alive… ate most of my life.
I was able to escape the den, but was never the same again.
I had mixed emotions regarding my Father.
On one level I wanted to be just like him and on another level, I wanted to be completely opposite of who he was.
Now, I just want to be my own man…
Not the same, nor opposite, just different.
So as to be, neither him, nor me.
I loved him and hated him at the same time.
It took me a very long time to understand that he did the best he was capable of doing.
But genetically, I looked like him, sounded like him and worst of all, acted just like he did.
Almost like I was living his life!
Because I was, for there was no me, just him, re-expressed as me.
To day, I do not want to look like him, sound like him or act like him.
I do not want to be bound by him, nor responsible for any of his debt.
Can you imagine duplicating a life over and over again and playing it off as new life?
Extending one self through another?
Creating and then jumping inside your creations, giving yourself to your creations and then, trying to become your creations?
To day, I speak not of the perceived father, but of the unperceived father.
My father is Man, but not the perceived father, but the unperceived one.
The one behind the veil.
The one behind the illusion of being Genesis I Man.
To day, I isolate my creator, but claim he is not my father.
To day, I introduce you to an orphan, but not the perceived orphan, but the unperceived orphan.
Not the physical life you may see or perceive, but the unsubstantiated, unfulfilled life of <GOD>.
I am the unborn life of <GOD>.
I am a fetus trapped as Man.
Not inside Man, nor outside man.
I am trapped by the illusion of already being Man.
This misconception blocks my birth and creates the veil, which Man hides behind.
He stands as my father, because he created me.
But he is not my father.
To day, I no longer blame him for making me.
I no longer blame him for not being there for me.
And throwing me to the lions, without any way of defending myself.
To day, I understand that “He” did the best he could for himself and his family.
But know for certain that he is not my father and I am not his son.
I am his creation, this is for certain.
Created as an oasis; a home away from home.
A way to get things done, without having to do it yourself.
A place of power to draw from.
A fountain of youth.
To day I understand that Man actually perceives himself to be <GOD>, because he can see no one else above him.
No one to challenge Him.
And no one to smack Him on the ass when he does something wrong.
No one to guide him or show him the way.
For my creator is also an orphan child.
To day, I am no longer trapped by the misconception of being Man.
But I am still very much restrained by the thought of already being <ALIVE>.
Not being <ALIVE> is not the type of knowledge that can be overcome at one time.
The life needs to be presented again and again, until it realizes that it is not alive, but is walking a path as if it is.
If we walk into the lions den as dead, then we cannot die, but may be able to be born, to be <ALIVE>.
To day I am trapped by the illusion of already being <ALIVE>.
I am chained to this claim, by believing I am Genesis I Man.
This misconception blocks my birth and creates the veil, which my <LIFE> hides behind.
I always felt like I really needed to grow up and become the programmed adult, but know now that is just becoming a subservient, subspecies of Man.
A robot; a terribly confused piece of <LIFE>.
It is not about growing up.
It is not about changing the things around us.
It is certainly not about getting more dead things.
It is about understand, forgiving, forgetting, letting go.
And being <BORN>